Going to the park

One of my favorite things to do that I view as a particular privilege of my stay-at-home-mom status is to take an afternoon walk with the kiddos and the dog. Now that Lillian has reached prime "park-playing" age, our walks are almost always to the neighborhood park, about half a mile away.
I'm sure that when I look back on these halcyon afternoons, I will choose not to remember how dadgum long it takes me to get out of the house for these blessed occasions.
The following list could be entitled, "how to prepare for a walk with a 2 year old, a baby and a giant dog" in 18 easy steps.

1. Prepare the stubborn two year old for this event. Start mentioning at least 30 minutes in advance that you are going to leave the house soon. Deal with tears and tantrums if they happen, and no matter what STAY STRONG. She is not the boss.
2. Get the dog suited up in his collar, harness and leash. Know that he will now follow you everywhere to make sure that you don't abandon this plan.
3. Convince the stubborn two year old to pee ("But Mommy! I already went pee!" "Lillian, peeing 3 hours ago doesn't count. You can go more than once a day." "But WHY, Mommy?" etc.) Remember that worst case she can strip down and pee at the park. It's happened before.
4. Check the baby's diaper, preferably before you get to the garage since inevitably he will take a giant dump when you're all ready to go. Change as needed.
5. Make sure you have the proper beverage and snack selection for the two year old (fresh milk, water and pretzels). Heaven help you if you forget one of these items.
6. Remind the two year old as she's piling a mountain of toys next to the garage door that she can only bring one toy on a walk. STAY STRONG if this is met with resistance. Praise her if she rolls with it.
7. Reassure the dog that you are, in fact, still going. Remind yourself of that, too.
8. Take 4 seconds to yourself and pee and get fresh water. Or GO NUTS and get yourself a granola bar that the two year old will undoubtedly eat half of. Bonus points if you're answering toddler questions and/or holding your giant baby.
9. Locate keys and phone.
10. Start moving all parties outside.
11. Strap the baby in.
12. Realize you've forgotten toys for him and run back inside while making dire threats to the two year old about going in the street. Yell for the dog, who is already trotting off.
13. Return with toys.
14. Negotiate with the two year old to get in the stroller. Realize she's wearing your high heels for shoes. Decide you don't care.
15. Now you must go back inside for actual park shoes ("And socks, MOMMY. I don't want a booboo."). Repeat same threats from above and yell for the dog again, who is now in a different neighbor's yard.
16. Chug your water because you're already tired.
17. With two little bodies successfully in the stroller (but not strapped in--"MOMMY I NO WANNA STRAP INNNNNN"), grab the dog's leash. He has sniffed all of his favorite yards and has returned to wait for you, bored and impatient.
18. Start your walk and enjoy. These are the days, after all.

Note the shoes

Sullivan likes snacks, too

Seriously, Mom? We still haven't left yet?

Moments before take-off