I admit it...

...I am a Halloween hater. I love fall/harvest time and all the kitschy decorations that accompany this season. Bring on the pumpkins, the bales of hay and all the warm tones. However, please hold the fake tombstones, spider legs and skeletons coming out of the ground. These I could live without. To prove that my reasons are legitimate, please peruse the following list.

1. I grew up in Colorado, a part of the country that many people assume is the land of ice and snow. Denver actually gets about 300 sunny days per year. However, without fail, one of the non-sunny days of the year was Halloween. No skimpy princess outfits for Colorado kids--whatever we came up with had to be "cold-weather adaptable," aka you could bundle up in one of those snowsuits like the little brother in Christmas Story (incidentally, only one more month until Christmas Movie Month!). No wonder a recurring costume for me was being a bag of dog food.* At least I could wear warm clothes underneath.
2. Halloween brings out the tackiest of tacky. You know what I'm talking about. People who otherwise seem relatively normal seem compelled to find the UGLIEST, TACKIEST, WEIRDEST stuff to put in their lawns/cars/offices/whatevertheycanfind. Case in point, our neighbors around the corner have the following in their yard: a) 2 skeletons in adirondacks with drinks in their hands. b) huge monster eyes in the windows. c) a green-faced witch riding a broom between palm trees. d) a birdcage (wait, what?). e)fake cobwebs, orange and white lights, etc. And last but not least, they tape a little black bird to their street sign every year, only this year they decided to "top themselves" (ha, pun intended) and glue a little stuffed mouse to its beak--WHY, PEOPLE, WHY? Admittedly, these people are over the top for every holiday (inflatables at Christmas, Easter eggs in the trees, shamrocks galore) but they really pull out all the stops at Halloween.
3. Halloween costumes. Coming up with a Halloween costume every year was like a Herculean labor for me. The effort to payoff ratio is poor in my opinion. My husband would totally disagree with this, so it's probably just my bitterness at not being creative in this way coming through. Imagine trying to explain American Halloween to someone from Africa. "Well first you spend tons of money and/or time coming up with a costume. If you're an adult female, you should probably try and look as much like a hooker as possible--pirate wench, French maid, sexy cowgirl, etc. Then you put said outfit on and either trick or treat (this part of Halloween is cool) or attend a party for a few hours. You take some pictures and that's it. wah wah wah.
4. Candy overload, leading to sugar glazed kids and fat adults.

So there you have it, Halloween is a terrible holiday. Glad I have my November 1 anniversary to focus on instead!

*I actually wore this outfit for multiple years. Each time we would have to carefully plan out Molly's food so that there would be an empty bag available. I promise that I did, in fact, have friends, though looking back, it's hard to imagine why! See reason #3 for why I liked this costume so much.